Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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