if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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