sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
