How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
