You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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