Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
