I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
