No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Watching her eat just hurts me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
