dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
