Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So much Jack, so little girl.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
