Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
as a side note pls kill me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
