We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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