i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
