Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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