Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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