we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
