someone get that fucking seahorse.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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