dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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