it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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