YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
