she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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