I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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