i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
