shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
