Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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