And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
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So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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