we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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