I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
