How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
