i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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