Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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