people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize