Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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