look no pants
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
