My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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