Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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