what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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