Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
