We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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