Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
