I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
