Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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