you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
