It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
