Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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