I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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