Swine flu. Run for my life!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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