at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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