he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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