Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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