Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize