I think my vagina is haunted
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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