I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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