oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
