I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
