I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
