whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
COCAINE IS GR8
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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