Yo dont text me then not text me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
