I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
