she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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