I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
