you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
should my penis look like a turkey
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
