um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
