Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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