Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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